* brain has now gone boom*
* brain has now gone boom*
I have not had word back from my lecturer, so I am posting on various forums and checking with classmates the status quo with the word count. Right now, I think I am going to have to bunce up certain pieces of work - basically if they want 6 pieces of work with the minimum 2,000 for the entire writing portfolio, excluding reflective commentary, then I am going to have to add-lib on a couple of pieces, Above, is the video I used as creative input for the Asylum piece. I know have to get back into the mood of it by listening and watching. Thanks to dark_fetus whose work is mesmerising.
Panic over - as before, 6 pieces of work comprised of 2 prose, 4 poems word count only a guideline. Commentary 1,500-2,000 words. OK, I have stopped hyperventilating now - poor Jackie (main lecturer) - she phoned me from the hairdressers to sort this out. Wilco then print and rid myself of this bloody portfolio.
Once, I had this little printer that would just chug out monochrome printing. Perfect for essays and the like. Then suddenly the manufacturers stopped making the cartridges and we made do with supplementary ones. Now THEY can't be found and I am stuck with this crappy EPSOM printer that has the ink span of a gnat. I am sorting out a LOT of work and we only stuck the black cartridge in a few days ago. I've now run out with a LOT to print, especially a news headline for Othello which is a standard tabloid red Gahhhhhh !!!!!!
I have finished all of the written redrafting for all of the work. Then I have to check for the following:
- Header and page number.
- Take out underlines and make sure copy prints monochrome.
- Check that all the references are in place.
- Feed into separate folio folders for each subject.
- Print all cover sheets off of Moodle.
Also - it was today two years ago I was offered the chance of being on a degree course. The conversation just blew me away and I am very grateful to Vanessa for guiding me in this direction. I am but a third of the way through my degree now, but at the half way point in my four year educational plan. What a climb it has been. Let's hope the summit will be worth it :-)
This is taking far longer than I expected, because I have to do a mini autopsy on each. I cannot paste what I have written as it will be in breach of my degree, I may in due course paste other stuff. One of the questions = how did you develop your work? Answer ::: I can't bloody remember, I uploaded my stuff to the forum months ago!! Most of it was done during wet weekends in February - to me it is a lifetime ago. I have a feeling that every bloody day will count as I have tons more to do than expected.
To quote Kasabian - 'Ahh, oh come on/We've got our backs to the wall'
Despite constant interruptions (God, I love my family, wouldn't do without them - bar NOW), I am now back on track - however, I have been reading the criteria for my C/W portfolio. It says they want 2,000 - 3,000 words. I had the presence of mind to add up the stuff selected, only to find that it doesn't even reach 1,000. It's a crap time to find this out. I have got two stories that would bunce up the words, but I would have to add commentaries to them as well. Mega stress. It's the weekend and less than 72 hours before the chop. Have messaged my lecturer, but she is unlikely to get back to me until 8 hours before absolute deadline. For now, I will have to write up the last part of my original bunch and if I hear nothing, submit the extra two.
Not happy. Might have to put this on hold and carry on with the Transactional Writing tomorrow, with hope that she will get my message.
Last essay. Lots of scrawl through it. I am sticking to adjustments this time, rather than total rewrites. Haven't got the time and if the moderating board want more concise work, they will have to whistle Dixie, even to my own detriment. This is the political IN3, I have possibly made the mistake of going all 'modern day' but I believe that satire has to be relevant to the happenings of the moment.
My main lecturer is actually pretty cool about this; because I have cited Spitting Image, I have to find a link that I want to use on Youtube. Great - I don't need an excuse for something to laugh at. Chose the video above, also more under cut - love it :-)
( Have I Got New For You - May 2014 )
It's been a bit of a hit and miss day, but I have finished IN3, but need to shave off 90 or so words. Not easy as it is such a short essay.
Feel a LOT better, but I am resigned to the fact that the last two essays probably won't score as high, but they will have a reasonable pass (I hope). I have just sorted the Creative Writing Portfolio/Transactional Writing Portfolio to be ready for the next few days, where I will have to write a commentary on subsequent work for the former and tweak the best four for the latter. Bit worried, because I have misplaced my Year 1 yearbook and I need to suss the criteria then tweak the lot. Such fun...
Charlotte Perkins Gilman - The Yellow Wallpaper -------> http://www.gutenberg.org/
Henrik Ibsen - A Doll's House -----------------------------------> http://www.gutenberg.org/
Alas, if I don't get this sorted by midday Thursday, I will kick it to the kerb. It is meant to be a Gothic novel and right up my street, but I don't warm to the characters, nor am a keen feminist. Just not into it.
I have come to the conclusion that I will never get this right, so I am just going to pare back on the words. I have to lose 177 words (bringing the essay down to 2,200 - or 2,000 with 10% margin) and just resubmit, knowing that at my present level of education, I cannot significantly turn this around without starting from scratch and even then, I do not have the guarantee that I can do it. My mistake was not annotating the text in the first place, plus not having an interest in either subject does hamper one. So, mission ::: lose the wordage. I am not going to burn myself out on an assignment that I cannot significantly turn round in time - over and out.
It is done. Tomorrow is the sticky political essay IN3 (which I didn't totally cock up, but will need a rethink).
LOL - funnily enough, I had the old A Level Psychology about from my Brave New World/Psychoanalytical theory a few days back. Smart ass here quoted chapter and verse. I should drop the book over to him, but haven't got the time. Right now it's back to the drawing board with 6 days to go.
Oh and it would've been my father's 71st birthday today - happy birthday Dad xxx
This essay is a mess - not a disaster but carnage has been wrought. I am in an anarchistic mood today so Beastie Boys 'Sabotage' is under the cut
( Beastie Boys - Sabotage )
Goddamn it - I've written myself into a cul-de-sac AGAIN!! Hatehatehate this theory and this book. What is Theory? It's a bucket of suck!!!!
Some progress made. I think Rochester is a nightmare, an over-grown baby whose propensity for righteous denial is only matched by the fact that he can't keep it in his pants. Bah! I'm off to read Wild Sargasso Sea.
EDIT::: Well, I have tidied up a bit, but I am 500 words over and the restructuring has only helped a bit. I am hoping to look at this with fresher eyes tomorrow. The tension in this house is at record levels - Hubby was saying that even if we are there for each other and we know what the other is going through, it doesn't help that we are going through our own crap at the same time. No rows, no sulking, just one stomps off to the garden and the other goes to the supermarket.
Not good - alas, unavoidable.
Also, a close friend called to say that my former family home had a kitchen fire earlier on this evening. It is truly horrible watching the fire brigade going in and out of my mother's old house. Everyone is ok though, that's the main thing.
I am looking at TH2 Jane Eyre/Feminist Theory and the essay is awash with the main lecturer's scrawling. It's a mess and I am in despair - it stands at 59% and I really want to shove it over 65%. Would be really happy with an upper second, if possible. Lit Theory is NOT for the faint-hearted. I have printed off the OWL Purdue checklist re Fem Theory and have stuck it to the side of the computer. Right now, nothing is sticking for me either. Am going to add main lecturer's notes to the new essay and somehow find a way through.
When you have a partner who is in the same boat, it does reap some rewards. You both know how the other is feeling, both climbing the wall, both supportive etc. What DOESN'T work is if one (me) is trying to soldier away and the other (he) is wandering aimlessly around, wanting to chat because they are bored. Being the loving Wifey that I am, I have dragged him into the 21st century and suggests he listens to podcasts from the accredited site. As I am the only one with speakers, we had a miniature growly face-off, where he suggested frisking the PC for MY set. No sunshine, that's NOT how it works. I have now sent him out to get a new set of speakers with an still-in-date Argos card. Hopefully it will do the job :-)
Cross-eyed and reading Gilbert and Gubar. There is a thin line between high brow and turgid - I am sorry Bronte aficionados, I am not a fan.
I managed to replan my assignment by printing off the rough draft and seeing parallels that I hadn't seen before. Feeling much better and am off to watch V for Vendetta. Not that I am interested in Dystopia at all :-DDDDD
I have a serious case of cabin fever right now, mostly because it is the bank holiday, it's raining and I am holed up. I am going to do the easiest essay redraft as I really don't want to face TH2 (Jane Eyre/Feminist Theory) and instead I am doing the one that I have already got 65% on. Plus, I need to proofread TH3 and I am not in the mood right now.
Shall I tell you what I really want to do? See the outside world. Go to the beach (just not in the rain), read something where I don't have to look for layered meanings. Visit friends, actually leave the county and see somewhere different. I want to write something that I might enjoy. For instance, I saw a picture (above) years ago - back then it didn't have an affect on me. I then had a dream where the picture featured and it triggered such emotion in me. I can't fathom why. Researching further, I realised now that most of Richard Long's tends to have the same effect on me. I don't know - maybe his art forms are so.....visceral? Who knows. I would like to write about that, someday.
Did I tell you that I have cabin fever??? :-/
IN2 took precious little time to do; I am reminded why I am glad that I make the best I can of a draft, then tweak it - rather than look at a half-assed one and freak because I have to restructure the lot. I am doing IL1 and if I do this by tonight, then it leaves me with the last (worst) two - the aforementioned TH2 and the political one. THEN it's the reappraisal of the creative/transactional writing portfolios.
I have finished IL1 and proofread TH3. Just had a look at TH2. 59%. Eeek. Ideally, I would like to get it over 65% and let me tell you with the amount I have to decypher and restructure, it is a hard-earnt 6%.
Creative Writing is going to be tougher as although my pieces are ready, the observation writing is still in its infancy. The days left have sunk into single digits and I am worried that I won't make it. I have a LOT to do. Anyway, onward with the Marxist Theory reading :-/
I laughingly said I wanted a simplistic version of Marx Theory, which is a bit of a joke really considering the subject. I have found a version and it is on bloody wiki and I can't use it (academic British references only). Try to find off shoots and you have to wade through everything. From what I can tell, it is about analysing the base the superstructure and the power relation. Fascinating, but I have only got nine days, guys.
I have had an incredible stroke of luck, via a bone fide British AS/A2 Sociology page. I feel truly blessed - hope it reaps the right rewards. I must admit that this gives me a bit of a headache as I did Sociology at 'O' Level and I remember the divisions of the Proletariat and the Bourgeois etc., but this is at a far higher level than I remember. I do understand a lot of it, because I have read up on it since, but even so - it is about whether I can do this as part of a Level 4 English essay.
*sigh* my brain hurts :-/
Ok, my aim now is to shave off 193 words without losing something critical from the essay. Here goes :-)
I've done it !!!! Hurrah !!! No more Huxley for the foreseeable future - yeehaaa!!!
Found the online Huxley biography - now I understand the final chapters of Brave New World. Suddenly feel quite chastened whilst reading Trev Huxley's demise. The pressures of being in a highly-strung intellectual family
Online Biography --------> http://www.oneworld-publications.com/
I can't believe that less than a week ago, I was wrestling with the rough draft of TH3. Once again, back to the drawing board and I have to shave off 72 words from somewhere. Quite how I am going to do this, I do not know. I can tell you that I have nailed the essay as best as a first year can. If I can get rid of the surplus 70+, then I can move on to Marxist theory ( A-GAIN).
Seriously, I can't afford to let this essay run well into Sunday - I have to face down the Feminist Theory goth horror of Jane Eyre o_O
OK - part one is done and I am now beyond wanting to revisit it. I have had a look at part two and from all the observations, the reccuring remonstration is WHAT IS HUXLEY'S POINT? DOES IT SUPPORT THE TEXT? John Bell read my essay and he was VERY useful - makes me realise a) what a genius he is b) I might just have to take a crash-course in Marxist Theory.
Crapola - I am going to bed.
Never mind - I will have to go onward with IL3 Wordsworth and Eliot :-/
IL3 is done. I have noticed that my essays seem to double up, my stream of consciousness writes like someone else is singing a duet with it. I am a bit irritated as my printer is starting to run out of ink at a pretty critical time and the hose on my car radiator has sprung a leak again. Grrr - wasn't like I was planning on going anywhere, but even so. Decided to go back to TH3, because this is the assignment that is niggling me the most at the moment.
OK, I think I have got the idea of 'How to be a Theorist' crash course 101. I *think* my mistake is that I have been putting the text first and the theory very much as a secondary consideration - when it should be the other way round. I also have to rethink how the population is perceived by the *insert theory* mind.
My head hurts - this is most definitely something I have to brush up on during the summer holiday.
I think I am near the end of the first half. I have to think of the psychological being of the author and the psychological motives of the reader. Hmmm. Is this going to be awkward territory for me, I wonder? I have a fascination for dystopian societies and I have to see beyond my own motives. Control issues? Overt control? Sadist Versus Masochist? I think I might have best part of another day on this. Loooong slog ahead.
Trying to see what I can redraft next - probably will steer away from the Theory assignments for now. Think I will go back to IL13 and IL1 (Wordsworth/TS Eliot and John Donne respectively) and possibly in that order too. Think it is too late to shove it into a first (I am bordering the wrong end of the upper second as it is), but this the first year, so let's take the pressure off for now :-)
Not much done, because I had TH3 back via email, complete with marks (no pun intended). As predicted, most of the Psychoanalytical was spot on, though needed a little direction. I've got to rethink and tweak Marxist, though I have been reassured that there is a lot of good stuff there. Sat and
*mumble, grumble, crumble*
Was called away and didn't get back to my desk until an hour ago. Have lost momentum and was too crabby with myself - so I have spent my time languishing on Youtube and listened to some music really loud, mostly Enigma, which is quite rousing. That and I hugged my cat, Dill - who always seems to know when I need cheering up :-)
I have also managed to write up my observation re my Post Colonial PP back in October and my vocational piece about Mary Bryant and James Boswell. Six essays to go before I tackle my Transactional/Creative Writing portfolio. Getting this sorted faster than I expected. I think a couple might go over into a first, but will be very happy with some hitting the upper second :-)
I have just taken a look round my office - it is an absolute tip, but I daren't clear it. In the confusion of it all, I don't want to throw something critical away :-/
Goddamn it - I STILL have to shave off 72 words. Its ok to jettison superfluous bits, but there are things that I can't reword. It would be like cutting off a limb!
WooHoo!!! I have finished TH3!!! Aldous Huxley can kiss my ass!!!
I must admit to having a bit of a brain fog, mostly because I am trying to fit one of the academic essays around the last part and it's not fitting. The end is in sight and I was to get this done tonight...
*mumble, grumble, crumble*
Ok - I am done for now. I have to shave off 278 words from part one and revamp part two. This will be done tomorrow (I am learning not to burn out again at the first opportunity).
Back to the grindstone :-/
Something has cropped up and things have not gone well - cannot reveal exactly why, suffice to say that on top of everything else our finances maybe screwed. Heart and motivation in my boots - because of other personal matters, it has been a horrible, horrible week. I need to get back on track.
Because of unforeseen setbacks, I have decided to organise a more structured plan for the latter half of this assignment. Right now, I can't concentrate on anything else. I think I have over done it somewhat and need to recover with an early night :-(((
I only have three weeks left; most of this week will be taken up with this essay and attending lecture (though God knows why - we need bumper tutorials and study leave IMHO).
I have ordered another reading stand as I cannot see my desk - it is awash with books, none of which I can put away. I am over 1,000 words and covering the Oedipus complex now.
I am not in good shape physically. My whole body is very cramped up and I have a sore throat for some reason. I do try to take breaks away from the desk, but I am really trying to get this essay cranked out. I can see the end in sight re psychoanalytical theory but I think I may wrap up early this evening, go for a walk or have a good stretch - something.
I have reached the end of part one and I have managed 1,338 words. I can foresee that some judicial editing will have to be done - right now, I am done and my back feels like an oxbow lake :-/
Well, I have cranked out about 362 words and unsurprisingly, I have all of my old 'A' level books in front of me (lucky really - I was going to give them to a first year BSc Psychology student, but forgot to drop them off. Just as well, considering). Obviously, I have to use Freud's stages of childhood development, but I think I can use Jung's archetypes which is fascinating. You can story board absolutely ALL of the figures in your own life. I think it will be VERY interesting when I move towards creative writing full time post BA.
493 but with a lot of research going on. Desk is awash with paper and stuck on side of PC tower, the book stand is crammed with 2 books and propping up another. I am really driven to do this because it is Brave New World AND Psychoanalytical. Later might be difficult when I tackle Marxism, but I think it will be OK if i deal with it as a social/economic project, with Marxist theory thrown in.
I have topped a thousand, but have saved off the brief Marxist observations and pasted them into Plan 2 (because when I have two parts to an essay, I couldn't see the wood for the trees). I am not down to 748 and I am nowhere near finished entering the quotes let alone expand on them. I have a feeling I will have to cherry-pick the best and kick the rest to the kerb.
I am stuck into Freud's Psychosexual Stages and the Id/Ego/Superego. Messy, or what?
I am back up to 898 words and I haven't touched Jung's archetypes yet (and would he complain if I did? :-P). I think I am about 50% done on the Psychoanalytical, need to concentrate on the rest of it, then pare back to 1,000 before I move onto Plan 2 (Marxist).
Back tomorrow :-)
One area of creative joy is this site, for any budding poet etc ----> http://www.wordle.net/create
I have had an email from my former lecturer, who wants me to talk to a few Access students next Thursday. It's funny to think I was in their position a year ago. I am delighted to tell them that the course is well-run and all is going well etc.
I have got the go-ahead from main lecturer - spent the day annotating the book, have got to get a lot done. Alas, tomorrow a friend is leaving to live in Tenerife (I am inheriting her le crueset) and we are seeing a client of Hubby's in the afternoon. Will have to be up early and do some skimming.
Lecturer recommended that I should deal with the two theories separately (1,000 Psychoanalytically/ 1,000 Marxist). Just as well; both theories are well-represented in Brave New World, meshing them would become an absolute nightmare. Get the gist that I may just be a little too ambitious on this one. One thing is for sure - time is running out :-(