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I am pleased to say that I am very much better - thank you all who sent messages for me to get well.  I am walking without crutches now and next week, I am hoping to drive again (us Brits use stick shift cars, so I need my left foot for the gear change).  The bacterial infection has gone, fingers crossed and I feel that I am back on the path to normal living.

I have just received my final mark back from my satire essay on 'Nightmare Abbey,' only to find that I have got 65% for it and the module earned me over 64%.  I am stunned - falling down concrete steps must have sharpened my wits! Hubby (who is the number cruncher of the family) has calculated that my overall mark for the entire degree is 64.74%, which is a decent 2:1 award.  Obviously, the final year's marks have to go out to be externally marked, so I cannot celebrate until July 14th.  

Still - thrilled :-)
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Two weeks post my accident and I am feeling fairly ok.  I can just about make it downstairs without crutches and limp around the house unaided.  The swelling in my ankle has gone down a bit and the bruising is finally coming out.  Outside terrain is a bit dodgy, so I still need assistance, but on the whole, I think I am improving. The temperature has dropped and it is not so humid, though I have had to take a migraleive as I have a heavy duty sucker of a migraine that is trying to show up for the second day on the trot.  Think it's because the light reflected off of the clouds makes it very bright out there at the moment - brighter than if it was mere sunshine.

Instead of feeling crabby and sorry for myself, I am taking this as time off and recovery that I probably wouldn't have granted myself if I hadn't fallen A over T downstairs.  The cats are keeping me company and it is cool in the front room.  Nothing more to add for the moment - I can feel myself getting better and that is all that matters :-)

Clear Out

May. 19th, 2017 01:26 pm
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A week ago, I was kinda hoping to be out and about, driving over best part of Cornwall and taking photos.  The ankle has screwed up that idea.  So today, I am attempting to clear the office, donating some of my Angela Carter reference books to a feminist trust, some of my Gothic books to a fellow writer, who writes in this genre. I have a stack of paperwork to shred, but there are some key things I am keeping for future reference.  It's amazing what you collect over time.

The rest of the afternoon will be spent with my foot up - I still have bruising a fluid to get rid of.  I haven't watched daytime television since I was ill 5 years ago - and let me tell you, it's dire.  Talk shows where people are slinging the furniture at each other. Bad soaps etc.  What was that, Juvenal? Bread and circuses, you say?  I think I will use my rest time to get some reading done, lest I will go crazy LOL :-))))
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Today is my last day at the essay and the end of my degree. I cannot describe the physical pain I am in. There is no guarantee I will get extenuating circumstance sorted and I can't live on those variables.  I just have to get on with it and submit.  Right now, I am looking forward to my freedom and never, ever having to write an essay at this standard ever again, plus reading books that I don't have to dissect.  I will be back at some form of college at night school for a couple of other qualifications, but nowhere near the level of strain that I have been under.  Mostly, I look forward to spending time on seeing people and doing some arty/crafty stuff.  When I get back to writing, it shall be for the pure enjoyment of it.

Right now, I am angry, but am using it to fuel my last 24 hours on this turkey.  I can guarantee that it will be a crap essay in comparison to what I am capable of (I am 'Update Draft' Queen), but I would prefer to take a punt and get over fifty rather than get it capped at forty or fail the degree at this stage!
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I don't know what is wrong with me.  I just don't have the impetus anymore.  It is like I submitted my diss and now I don't care.  I have written a bit on my last satire essay - but it is mostly bound with quotes rather than an actually argument.  Thing is - I'm done.  Done with the course, education etc.  I have been locked away for so long, it is literally a culture shock each time I go out further than 3 miles.  It's spring.  I've seen precious little of it.  I am surprised to see leaves, rain, shadows - like WTF?  Yet I don't to bow out with possibly the crappiest mark ever.  That's not good or me or my lecturer (who is a great lady and an absolute hoot).

I just have no drive and instead of stepping up to the challenge and finishing like a pro - I am dragging my heels, cussing all the way and just want to crawl across the line and f**k the results.  I need a good kick up the arse.  I would be most embarrassed to get such a frighteningly low score.  So I am going to offload onto dictaphone, give myself a bit of a kicking and get back to working it out properly.

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If Cornwall had underground stations - personally, I love the idea :-D

Well, I have managed to substantially edit it bringing it down from 2,000 of mess, to 1,859 of fairly understandable train of thought.  A third of it is comprehensible, the other two thirds are bitty.  Yet, I feel there has been progress made, it is just I have to fed in the theory and tailor the argument a bit.  Well, quite a lot, but i will need to motor on tomorrow.

Which might be difficult as I have a houseful tomorrow.  Friends are down from Norfolk and Prodigal 2's girlfriend is due over.  I, however, am to be locked into my ivory tower magnolia office and will leave the entertaining to Hubby and Son.
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Bingley had been thinning out around the base of her tail and assumed that it was mange or fleas or whatever, so we gave our vet a call.  Now Bingley had been a timeshare cat for a fair while, but because she had moved in with us on a more permanent basis, we assumed that Bing was a stray.  She needed medical attention.  Imagine the horror that we turn up there hoping to get her treated - only to find that she is tagged and is noticed as missing.  I was absolutely shocked and heartbroken when the vet called Bingley's actual folks, who we have found lives down the road from us.  And that slinky Bingley with the girly soft fur and cuddly demeanor was actually MISTER Bingley - very definitely a 'blue toothbrush' cat..  Anyway, we walked away from the vet minus Bingley, I was absolute inconsolable.

Bingley's folks gave us a knock and returned him to us, saying he is happier here and gave him over. I was blubbing and doing my best 'puss, puss' and we have their number etc.  It's all worked out in the end and Bingley is now crashed out in the other room.  It has taken a dent out of my research for today and I think I will do the Roger Allam skit in The Thick of It.  I am early on the train tomorrow for my last ever lecture and am in lock in all weekend so I can finish the bloody thing.

Juvenile humour at it's best.


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I find your lack of kitty treats somewhat disturbing.

Today is basically been about researching M.M. Bakhtin's philosophy and I have been redirected to his book which has been most interesting.  I will feel better when I have substantially copied notes from that and have cited and merged them with my work.  It is a work in progress :-)

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I have started late as I was at a funeral.  It's been a strange old day - friends posting old photos that i hadn't realised were in existence, another old friend calling, who I vow I will make time for post degree.  In fact, I can't believe how relieved I feel to be almost at the end of it.  There was a celebration that I wanted to go to over the weekend end and saw some epic shots.  It is one that I definitely plan to go to next year.

Back to the essay - now is the time to slot things together.  I am using the framework as described on Plymouth Uni's PP for satire and decanting the lines from the book. Go cats, go.

Well, I have managed 500 words but it was a patchy intro and the criteria set down.  I will have to start introducing more and more apt sentences and observation, which I will do between now and Wednesday afternoon.  I will then have to do a crash revision on what I have learnt and will have to seek out a clip from YouTube and explain myself to the rest of the group and qualify why I think this is a specific brand of satire, then watch the clip.  More tomorrow.

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Spent the day typing notes, about a third of which I will be using for the essay.  I have gone back to the Menippean idea as I have enough proof to cover that. Plus, it will be less hassle to prove the Menippean theory than to pull the essay apart re form and context, though indeed there will be some of that.

I have to go to a funeral tomorrow, but after that, I will start again.

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Well, for me it is coursework, but same thing, really.  Spent the day taking notes, of which I am about to type up and will spend the rest of tomorrow getting all of my other notes together to start the big write on Monday.  I do have to go to a funeral in the afternoon, but will not be staying for the wake.  The only other time I will be sidetracked will be my presence on Thursday for my final satire lecture, which will be clips of popular satire.  Promises to be an amusing lesson.
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This little minx is on the arm of the corner chair by the phone, where I can get the best source of  light to write my notes.  Bingley knows she has to stay still and not fidget, or get turfed off.  I have got halfway through and will do the rest tomorrow. I have abandoned Menippean as an argument, because I would have to go into full explain mode and decided to concentrate on form and content.  Less of a headache that way.

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I currently subscribe to pictures 3 & 8 - well, that is if I am so inclined to work.  Bit skittish today, not really settled down to anything much, except trying to find out what constitutes Menippean and work from there.  I realised that a lot of Pratchett comes under that category, so i feel quite at home in this sub-genre.

Had an interesting chat with a friend, who asked me whether I was considering doing the MA.  I cited age/health/distance/price and replied in the negative, but what I am thinking is that I need a year off and honour my contribution to the household bills.  I will be asking to be put on placement to get experience and see how I do on the job market.  Then I will see how I feel.  Actually it will be nice not living as a penniless student in essentially a potless household.

I am going to start with a grid for the essay - 2,500 words and how I will discuss the finer points.  Promise to do better tomorrow.

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As previously written, I handed my major dissertation in.  It felt odd, like watching your twin children go to school for the first time and they are in school uniforms and they look like babies.  I felt quite emotional and went to the Roland Levinsky building cafe.  I sat on the rooftop seating area with my richly-rewarding piece of millionaire shortbread and peppermint tea.  I was listening to my iPod, just lapping up the moment, then Goldfrapp's 'Moon in Your Mouth' and it got  to the lyric 'I'm alive' then the tears started to roll.  when it got to the bridge 'We looking at the moon/It's the same face we all see' and it took all I had not to copiously weep in public.

I suppose it was inevitable.  It is 10 months of very hard work boiled down into 10,000 words.  It's going to hit, isn't it? I feel a little odd not doing anything more to it.  I hadn't realised how tense I was until I went out for tea later.  Just such a weight taken off my mind.  One of my friends have told me not to look over the dissertation, once submitted because a) you can't do anything about it and b) you will only agonise over it more.  Anyway, I have to start my satire essay - need to go over Thomas Love Peacock's Nightmare Abbey with a fine toothcomb.  Note taking - let's see how my last assignment ever goes :-)

Well, I have taken a look over all of the stuff on the DLE and decided that I am going for the menippean angle with Nightmare Abbey.  I think I can get the most out of that than the other ones.  A bit more structure to work from and at this stage, I need to go from demob happy to nailing something down (the other questions are a bit more free flowing and I just want something to direct me).

Tomorrow will be notes/reading.
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 I have everything ready to go to print.  I have the title sorted and everything else - however, I have the not-so-fun time of trying to end this sucker, probably in about three sentences as my dissertation ends rather abruptly at the moment.  I have my acknowledgement list and my dedication, which is to my mother and grandmothers.  Many people are flapping on the forum, as so did I when I couldn't find the plagiarism sheet.

A friend went through it last night and only recommended a few adjustments, which I duly made.  Another is reading it this afternoon sans the last paragraph.  I feel fairly happy, but I think not entirely until I get this last bit done.

It is all done - printed/checked/double checked and have extra copies.  and I am catching the 07:50 train to Plymouth.

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This is a collage of my weekly trips to Plymouth University.   Top left and right are inside the Babbage Building, middle - steps outside the Charles Seale Hayne library.  The bottom two are from St Erth station, where I have spent many a wet and windy morning.  I was wondering if I would come to think of it fondly in the years to come.  Or bittersweet.  Or just plain bitter.  I don't know.

Yesterday, after months of being cramped at an office desk, turning increasingly word blind and nonsensical, I basically caved.  Tuned everything out and went to bed.  Today, I am going to do the rest of the little bits and a couple of friends will be having a read of it over the next couple of days.

Bibliography is complete.  I have just messaged the forum to see how many people have used on average. Meanwhile, the MD Inserts List.

  • Title page
  • Acknowledgments (optional)
  • Table of contents
  • Introduction
  • Chapters x 3
  • Appendices - N/A
  • Bibliography
  • Plagiarism statement (see handbook).

Feel a bit better.  Tomorrow, I will sort out the rest.

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I sincerely hope not, or I am screwed!

Well, I got the marks back on my first satire essay - 62%, which is just about in the zone, but I am crabby with myself, because the things I slipped up on is the fact I proofread on screen, rather than print it out and read it out loud/check it manually.  Plus there was a couple awkward turns of phrasing.  Anyway, it is a 2:1 score, will strive to do better next time.

Will attempt to finish things off over the next couple of days and yes, PROOFREAD offscreen, godsdamnit!  


I have done some substantial editing and have just pulled the intro/ch1/ch2/ch3/conclusion together.   I do know something - after yesterday's minor tank, I am a) absolutely petrified of f***ing up and b) fear that I have ruthlessly edited beyond hope.  The only thing I can so is print off the lot and reread manually.  I can't help think that I am wandering off topic here and when you have been with the project this long, you get word blindness.

Dejected.  The only thing that keeps me going is that others are in the exact same position.  I think the thing that surprised me is that so many just hope they don't get a 40% pass.  I would literally die if I did, to the point that a low 2:1 gets me.

* sigh *

I am sick to death of this.

June 2017

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