Sub Rosa

( Porphyria's Lover - Robert Browning )Such a dark tale.  The narrator meets with his lover, then kills her - why? He remains silent - she has defied convention to be with him.  She 'worships' him but there is a sense that she will conform to her station and leave him.  He wants to preserve the moment and seals it by strangling her with her own lock of hair - thus gaining absolute control of her.  He toys with her corpse with the full implication that post mortem coitus could occur.  Why would he do that?

Hmm - looking with Psychoanylitcal eyes, this is all wrapped up with Oedipal possesion of the mother figure, sex and death and a whole other host of Freudian schools of thought.

Ignore the sardonic lyrics - I play this every year when my results are in.


Transactional Writing - 70% (pleased with this one, might have been let down slightly by the travel piece).

What is Theory? - 70% (now that pleasantly surprises me; I presume I did better on the Jane Eyre rewrite and I must've aced Brave New World).

Creative Writing - 72% (very pleased).

Sense of Place - 72% (both Passage to India and Nineteen Eighty-Four went well).

Identity and Nationhoood - 70% (really surprised at this one, the John Harris/Arthur Caddick  was ok, but I really thought I had trashed the last IN3. It was about literature/political purpose and I went waaaay out on a limb for this one, using media and modern-day satire, citing the TV satire and even the use of Huffpost and the irreverence of Newsthump.  Whereas I think the examiner wanted evidence in literature history.  Paid off though - I argued the toss about progression, might not gamble quiet that high in the future).

Introduction to Literature - 67% (Goddammit, must have fell back on Donne and his extended metaphors or maybe the parallels between Wordsworth and T.S Eliot was 'a bridge too far').


Credits Achieved at this stage - 120
Overall aggregate mark - 70.17%

Therefore, my measly 10% have managed to scrape a first for the first year !!! Wooohooooooooooooooo!!!!

*does a happy dance*

Onward to the FdA English Studies Year 2 :-DDDDD

Currently trying to understand my essay planner from yesterday. I am glad to say I am not the only one floundering with only days to go.  I am reliably informed that a second year (who so kindly helped me yesterday when it came to sorting out my essay) had to do this mid mini dissertation just recently and 5,000 words is a lot to turn round.  I also heard that one of my former Access class mates is trying to write about the evolutionary theory of sleep and asked if I wanted to swap.

LOL - funnily enough, I had the old A Level Psychology about from my Brave New World/Psychoanalytical theory a few days back. Smart ass here quoted chapter and verse.  I should drop the book over to him, but haven't got the time. Right now it's back to the drawing board with 6 days to go.

Oh and it would've been my father's 71st birthday today - happy birthday Dad xxx

13:37
This essay is a mess - not a disaster but carnage has been wrought. I am in an anarchistic mood today so Beastie Boys 'Sabotage' is under the cut

( Beastie Boys - Sabotage )

16:16
Goddamn it - I've written myself into a cul-de-sac AGAIN!! Hatehatehate this theory and this book. What is Theory? It's a bucket of suck!!!!

19:04
Some progress made. I think Rochester is a nightmare, an over-grown baby whose propensity for righteous denial is only matched by the fact that he can't keep it in his pants.  Bah! I'm off to read Wild Sargasso Sea.

EDIT::: Well, I have tidied up a bit, but I am 500 words over and the restructuring has only helped a bit.  I am hoping to look at this with fresher eyes tomorrow. The tension in this house is at record levels - Hubby was saying that even if we are there for each other and we know what the other is going through, it doesn't help that we are going through our own crap at the same time.  No rows, no sulking, just one stomps off to the garden and the other goes to the supermarket.

Not good - alas, unavoidable.

Also, a close friend called to say that my former family home had a kitchen fire earlier on this evening.  It is truly horrible watching the fire brigade going in and out of my mother's old house. Everyone is ok though, that's the main thing.

I have managed to slot the 'Pleasure Principle' in (pun fully intended) and now I am trying to read up some Marxist Theory (OWL Purdue has come into its own - but I am reading Rivkin and Ryan at the moment).  I am a bit worried about the time frame; after this, I have four essays to turn round, one of them being TH2 (Jane Eyre/Feminist Theory), then IN3 which is a sticky one about politics.  Might have to totally rethink that one.  Plus the portfolio work.  Not a lot needed for Transactional Writing, minor tweaks at most.

Creative Writing is going to be tougher as although my pieces are ready, the observation writing is still in its infancy. The days left have sunk into single digits and I am worried that I won't make it. I have a LOT to do.  Anyway, onward with the Marxist Theory reading :-/

14:18
I laughingly said I wanted a simplistic version of Marx Theory, which is a bit of a joke really considering the subject.  I have found a version and it is on bloody wiki and I can't use it (academic British references only).  Try to find off shoots and you have to wade through everything.  From what I can tell, it is about analysing the base the superstructure and the power relation. Fascinating, but I have only got nine days, guys.

17:42
I have had an incredible stroke of luck, via a bone fide British AS/A2 Sociology page.  I feel truly blessed - hope it reaps the right rewards.  I must admit that this gives me a bit of a headache as I did Sociology at 'O' Level and I remember the divisions of the Proletariat and the Bourgeois etc., but this is at a far higher level than I remember.  I do understand a lot of it, because I have read up on it since, but even so - it is about whether I can do this as part of a Level 4 English essay.

*sigh* my brain hurts :-/

20:29
Ok, my aim now is to shave off 193 words without losing something critical from the essay.  Here goes :-)

22:09
I've done it !!!! Hurrah !!! No more Huxley for the foreseeable future - yeehaaa!!!

Struggling through the last of the Psychoanalytical bit - basically finding parallels with Huxley and Oedipus (not as far-fetched as one would imagine - just read the Huxley biog).  I also need to figure the psychological motives of the reader. As one who knows she will return to this story because of its dystopian leanings, I would say that maybe it is about gaining control in an out-of-control environment.  I can identify with this and all of the archetypes that this could project.  Ooer Missus! Bit deep for a Friday afternoon :-)

16:01
Found the online Huxley biography - now I understand the final chapters of Brave New World. Suddenly feel quite chastened whilst reading Trev Huxley's demise.  The pressures of being in a highly-strung intellectual family

Online Biography -------->  http://www.oneworld-publications.com/sites/default/files/books/extracts/huxley-9781851689231.pdf

19:48
I can't believe that less than a week ago, I was wrestling with the rough draft of TH3.  Once again, back to the drawing board and I have to shave off 72 words from somewhere.  Quite how I am going to do this, I do not know.  I can tell you that I have nailed the essay as best as a first year can.  If I can get rid of the surplus 70+, then I can move on to Marxist theory ( A-GAIN).

Seriously, I can't afford to let this essay run well into Sunday - I have to face down the Feminist Theory goth horror of Jane Eyre o_O

21:30
OK - part one is done and I am now beyond wanting to revisit it.  I have had a look at part two and from all the observations, the reccuring remonstration is  WHAT IS HUXLEY'S POINT? DOES IT SUPPORT THE TEXT? John Bell read my essay and he was VERY useful - makes me realise a) what a genius he is b) I might just have to take a crash-course in Marxist Theory.

Crapola - I am going to bed.

I won't be labouring with this for much longer as it is about stripping off 200 or so words from plan one and rearranging plan two so everything is cohesive...hopefully.

13:07
Goddamn it - I STILL have to shave off 72 words.  Its ok to jettison superfluous bits, but there are things that I can't reword.  It would be like cutting off a limb!

14:11
WooHoo!!! I have finished TH3!!! Aldous Huxley can kiss my ass!!!

I have printed out the Marxist Theory information from the OWL Purdue site and am ready to thrash this.  My main annoyance is that a few days ago, I had a lot of boxed stuff brought to our cottage and it is all sitting in my office straight in front of my wipe board - so planning anything will be impossible until it is shifted. To add to my annoyance, hot on the heels of the last batch of bug, I now have a throat infection.  I am swilling fruit smoothies and echinacea to combat the worst of it.  I have a feeling that most of this will shift when I finish the lot in June.

Back to the grindstone :-/

16:34
Something has cropped up and things have not gone well - cannot reveal exactly why, suffice to say that on top of everything else our finances maybe screwed.  Heart and motivation in my boots - because of other personal matters, it has been a horrible, horrible week. I need to get back on track.

20:46
Because of unforeseen setbacks, I have decided to organise a more structured plan for the latter half of this assignment.  Right now, I can't concentrate on anything else.  I think I have over done it somewhat and need to recover with an early night :-(((

I have blasted through Brave New World, annotating, theorising and now I am ready to begin. I am to use 1,000 words each theory and will start with Psychoanalytical as it will specifically feed into the Marxist.  I have already planned the first half as to why the citizens are kept in a perpetual state of pseudo happiness and link it to Freud's theories etc. I would love to say more, but as most of it should end up in my essay, I don't want the problem of having to cite my LJ account when they run my stuff through a system check.

Onward :-)

11:58
Well, I have cranked out about 362 words and unsurprisingly, I have all of my old 'A' level books in front of me (lucky really - I was going to give them to a first year BSc Psychology student, but forgot to drop them off.  Just as well, considering).  Obviously, I have to use Freud's stages of childhood development, but I think I can use Jung's archetypes which is fascinating. You can story board absolutely ALL of the figures in your own life.  I think it will be VERY interesting when I move towards creative writing full time post BA.

13:27
493 but with a lot of research going on. Desk is awash with paper and stuck on side of PC tower, the book stand is crammed with 2 books and propping up another. I am really driven to do this because it is Brave New World AND Psychoanalytical.  Later might be difficult when I tackle Marxism, but I think it will be OK if i deal with it as a social/economic project, with Marxist theory thrown in.

19:52
I have topped a thousand, but have saved off the brief Marxist observations and pasted them into Plan 2 (because when I have two parts to an essay, I couldn't see the wood for the trees).  I am not down to 748 and I am nowhere near finished entering the quotes let alone expand on them.  I have a feeling I will have to cherry-pick the best and kick the rest to the kerb.

21:54
I am stuck into Freud's Psychosexual Stages and the Id/Ego/Superego. Messy, or what?

I am back up to 898 words and I haven't touched Jung's archetypes yet (and would he complain if I did? :-P).  I think I am about 50% done on the Psychoanalytical, need to concentrate on the rest of it, then pare back to 1,000 before I move onto Plan 2 (Marxist).

Back tomorrow :-)

Well, this is the possibility - I have read most of Brave New World and I have some notes on it.  If I am to pull this off, I WILL have to lock myself in.  None of the reading list titles appealed to me (Virginia Woolf The Waves = too complicated for theory at this level; D.H Lawrence Sons and Lovers = read this back in September - interesting, but doesn't hold me; Margaret Attwood The Handmaid's Tale = want to read it, haven't had time). Nothing doing with the printer at the moment, jammed again and it needs Hubby to fix it, so this afternoon, I might just read through it and annotate as I go.  Plus I need to plunder OWL/Purdue site for Theory definitions.

Literary Theories - https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/

I am concerned at this late stage that I have bitten off rather more than I can chew, however it does interest me and I like a challenge (like a hole in the head).