changeling67: (Default)

Right now, I am looking into the symbolism behind wine re 'Bluebeard.'  This is a theory lesson, not a practical one alas.  I have come away from classical music and am listening to Neroche's The Crooked Mile for sideways inspiration.

FINALLY, I have breached the 5,000 mark and have Carter's anaolgy to appraise.  Go me.

Well I pottered for a while and made slight adjustments.  I have stopped because I have typed so much, I have RSI of both hands.  Last two fingers of both hands and the tendons are inflamed. Feels like I have sandpapered nerves.  Swollen a bit, too - I am going to end up with paws rather than hands.
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Trying to sort out a reliable source of info via moodle, or indeed Google Scholar has been a nightmare.  Thankfully, I have been able to access the Plymouth University website at long last (many tech problems here).  Picture is relevent - Freud-specific.

I am in the middle of a rewrite - at the moment, it is the observations of the Grimm Bros.  Somehow, I wish I had chosen this for the maxi diss as I have had to pare back a LOT of relevent information.  Now I find I cannot touch the fairytale genre unless it is through Winterson (or others).

Think I am over a third of the way through the first edit. I have made notes on the death of the maiden and all of the symbology, but now it is time to hit the hay.  I really wish that I had gotten into the groove earlier, but at least it is going my way.
changeling67: (Default)

Trying to fall back in love with this subject.  I have some good ideas, but precious little time to implicate them. I have less than nine days left and really didn't want to rush the mini diss.

I have pottered and had some imput, but don't feel particularly driven. A bit of a worry.

OK - panic over. Most of the quotes have been written into loosely connected sentences, with citations. However, it is in about 4 different sections and also needs academic sprinkles, other refs to similar books Shalken etc., plus bits from Propp, Lacan and Foucalt.  It also has to be written properly.

Bit of a climb ahead of me, but for now, I am done.
changeling67: (Default)

I haven't touched this essay for months, quite simply because of the pressure we were under re J's illness and operations.  I have 11 days and two projects to finish.  I made a start on Perrault/Grimm/Dickens.  Trying to find some clarity here.

I maybe gone for some time...

I have summed up The Robber Bridegroom in 232 words.  Well, that's a good start.....possibly need to pad this out by another 1,000 at least.

I have written 1,068 words, albeit a lot of quotes and observation points.  I think I will rely heavily on Dickens and Grimm as they are far more salacious, plus it leads me nicely to carter later on.

Time to stop - theoretically I have only 1,500 to write and I will do that easily with the stuff I have to write.  This is not a 'cinch' BUT I find this far, far easier than Postmodernism (yeah, I am still stung about that - it will pass).
changeling67: (Default)

I haven't touched this subject for at least two months as other modules were pending.  I now find myself having to recap what I did and even though I have 2,982 words (with some of it missing - which worries me a bit). I am focusing on The Robber Bridegroom and The Bloody Chamber, but will throw in a bit of Dickens' Captain Murderer (his was really good!) and maybe some others enroute.  Tomorrow will be about making notes on the stories chosen.

As of tomorrow, I will have 11 days left.  Somehow, I will have to fold some of my IAS around that time, possibly when I get bored of Bluebeard and need to plod on with something else.  Re the IAS portfolio, the stories have been written, but need adjusting, before they are dispatched with and a 2,000 word reflective commentry written.  Right now, I have to make the mini dissertation my focal point.
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I reviewed my exceptionally-rough-drafted mini dissertation and we both agreed that it would be far better if I scrapped a lot of the first half and substantially redraft the second half. The background on the folktales can be used, but as I wanted to explore the sex/death themes from a psychoanalytical theory angle (fear of consumation or actually fear being consumed), then I would have to research Brothers Grimm The Robber Bridegroom as a primary text as part one. Part two would be about compare/contrast, with The Bloody Chamber - plus Robert Browning, Charlotte Bronte et al. thrown in for good secondary source measure. In some cases, it will be 'back to the bloody drawingboard' again, but this time I have far more appropriate material to run with.

Tomorrow, I will make the prelimary changes, then shelve it for a while. I have an Anna Barbauld essay to write, plus the Charlotte Perkins Gilman one to do. I am nowhere near plotting the post modern one and I have a lecture to attend on that subject on Thursday.  Hubby has his second operation next Wedsnesday, if indeed there is a bed for him - hospitals are on black alert at the moment (chronic bed shortage).

Mentally, I am wide awake though it is a little past midnight - physically I am so tired, I am mute by it.

Shame - such a shame,
Think I've kind of lost myself again...

...fade - made to fade,
Passion's over-rated anyway.

(Massive Attack - Dissolved Girl)
changeling67: (Default)

4,930.  That is the amount I have written all told.  I have made some good observations but I am miles from even submitting it as a rough draft for Monday.  I really need to cut swathes into it, as I haven't added sprinkles/observations from the academic essays yet. The absolute maximum is 5,000 + leeway of 10% = 5,500. However, as this is rough, I have at least got something to show her.  It is a subject that I should've reserved for final year BA - God knows what that will be.  I have no idea as yet as to what i will be majoring in. Hoping to get advice on Monday - I know that my lecturer has emailed the coordinator with our proposals, but yet t be seen as to what they will be.  I need a solid answer so I can do some hefty research in the summer.

I have 3 other assignments to do and an IAS portfolia with comments - none of which I could get near, though I have got some time yet before the deadline.  Officially, I have 55 days (just under eight weeks) to get this done.  I am bricking it.

My car is now officially on its way out.  I am throwing good money after bad and it's getting worse.  Head gasket is dying, I think and when that happens, its usually 'Game Over' for the car.  Thing is, we are strapped for cash, but because of our locality, it is absolutely essential that I get back on the road ASAP. Car sharing and/or public transport is just not an option for me.
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Above is the castle that Angela Carter based her antagonist's lair - Mont Saint-Michel, in Normandy, France.  I have so much to do, but I think my main point for today is - what was Carter trying to say? What were her observations as to how fairy tale charicatures were being projected?

We have our own partner Mount here in Cornwall - St Michael's Mount, just outside Marazion in Cornwall.  It is far smaller in size, but still stunning to look at.

I think I am starting to make some headway.  I tend to write the same thing sometimes, like I am two writers trying to compose in unison.  Plus I am aware of the presence of my lecturer sitting mentally on my shoulder - which doesn't help.  However, it IS her pushing of my boundaries that makes me a better writer.

I say that now, might be feeling different in 6 days time (when I see her next).

I am not in the best frame of mind right now.  I have really struggled to get to grips with this and it is such a HUGE tangled mess.  For a start, I feel that I would make better ground if I focused wholly on The Bloody Chamber and made references back to Perrault, Grimm et al.  Plus - is it really a good idea to have 2 theories running at once? I could take this theme and have a problem keeping to 10,000 maxi dissertation size (that is for next year at Plymouth Uni), let alone the meagre 5,000 set for the whole piece for the mini diss this year.

I am up early tomorrow as I have an appointment to attend to, so it will be back to the grindstone again.  I think if I haven't got the gist of this by the weekend, I will have to gut out the other two essays, so at least I have something to show the other lecturer.  Damn it, I wanted to be further than I am.
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I have got to the stage where the essay is a huge mess, tangled with quotes and sporadic, poorly-spelt observations.  Hubby and Prodigal 2 have been out visiting friends, whilst I have major writer's block at my desk.  Also - sometime between now and the thirteenth, I want to plan out two other essays, write a story for the portfolio and maybe understand Post Modernism a bit more too. A tall order - AND I want my bloody car back.  It has been off road for nearly four weeks and at the garage awaiting repair for another two weeks.

1,561 - and I haven't even expanded my observations coherently, nor have I added any academic essay quotes/book theories.  Easter hasn't helped much either.
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The Bloody Chamber is a story which is very well written - the descriptions are chilling and truly stifling.  I don't find it heavy-going; in fact it is a remarkably readable book, but it jars the senses and projects the sense of imprisonment.  So going over the details of the palace and finding the alpha male presence firmly marked, it feels cloying - like I am suffering from a form of literary drowning.

Not been a good day.  932 words collectively for part 2.  Most of it was about getting my notes done in order and deciding which theory I would use first. Better luck tomorrow (oh and a stable internet connection would help).
changeling67: (Default)
I am not sure if there is a general internet problem, but I have struggled to maintain connection all day. Consequently, I've got a lot more done re assignment writing. I will progress sans internet for the time being, but I can't do that forever. I am carless too and I don't want to trek to college on the bus.

Onward, I suppose...
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I have spent the past day or so reading/annotating The Bloody Chamber by Angela Carter, specifically the first title story.  For those wanting to read Carter (and simply, I think she is amazing) the link is HERE
This song is haunting me at the moment )

I have wondered whether Jeanette Winterson has been inspired by Carter - I can see parallels.  Reading a lot of Carter's stuff put chills down the back of your neck.  Right now, I have to consider how Carter shows the Bluebeard theme as a modern-day representation.
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Tomorrow, we have a lecturer from Plymouth coming down to read some of our part 1 ILS mini dissertation drafts, talk to us individually about our module choices and give advice about our major dissertations.  I will not add to the draft, but will iron out a few bloopers and then get advice.

Today is a quiet day.  I am feeling under the weather at the moment.  I have unpresedented levels of extreme exhaustion.  I have reviewed my dietry issues, but I need to top up on something - so I have purchased multi vitamins and consumed a lot of veg soup today. I hate struggling for energy.

Ok - script has been emailed and will be uploaded to memory stick later.  Have the full rough draft for the ALP tomorrow, plus planning grid.  I am done - very long day tomorrow.  We officially get the results back - but something is in the wind, though.
changeling67: (Default)

This is the final day before rough draft hand in. I have tons to bash out then edit, before I wave it in front of my main lecturer (who is a lovely lady, but because of her position of Top Noodle,is tough to please academically).

Heads down - let's play bingo-go-go.

well, it didn't go according to plan.  I have shuffled around a few bit - but to be honest I am so damn tired, I can't think straight.  I think I have over done it, to be frank.  I slept many hours last night, but I am staring at the screen and just now want to crash.  I am done with this - 2,033 words, be damned.  it's a rough draft and i now feel rough.

Massive Attack - Dissolved Girl )
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Back again on this bloody treadmill. I feel that so many things go so slowly.  It's not like I am being seduced by social media or anything.  Just banks of intellectual fog.  The Tatar book has revealed a bit more than I expected and I have thoroughly gone through the Katherine J. Kim essay.

Onward - hopefully I can get SOMETHING done.

1,680 - better progress today, much better since I have switched almost everything off that can distract me.

Essentially, I am quite pleased with today - 1,965 words, covering Perrault, Grimm, Schalken, Dickens and only lightly touching Bronte.  I have a * LOT * to do tomorrow, but I think I am done today.

Mozart - Laudate Dominum (Emma Kirkby) )
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Another red picture signifies another day at the educational coal face (I should really stop complaining, because I whined on long enough about wanting to do this degree).  Yesterday was a bit messy, but I am reading some of the essays and stuff today, plus excerpts from the books.

I have been substantially writing large chunks of the essay and am coming round to the crit lit essays very shortly.

In some respects, I don't feel that I have got a lot done - but I have type written a lot of the quotes that i want to use within the essay in a kind of Word Dump.  Hopefully things will materialise tomorrow.
changeling67: (Default)

Yesterday, I reappraised the Bluebeard PP and started to plan out both sections of the project (2,500 x 2 = 1 mini diss).  There is just under 1,000 words in the first section and about 450 words in the second. My Lacan and Focault books have arrived and I am still awaiting the Maria Tartar book.  Plus, I have at least 3 academic essays and a history book to plough through.  I am trying to remind myself that I am writing an English essay, not a Psychology one (though there are elements, bearing in mind I am using psychoanalytical theory as one Lit Crit source), nor a history one.  It is pretty easy to catalogue in both Psy and History - with English, you have to evolve your arguments, whilst still being in first person/past tense.

I am present bloody tense at the moment - hoping that the postie will bring wonderous things.

I have slung everyone out of the office and I have turned on my Brown Noise/Classic FM combo to shut the world out.  I feel like I am writing with my main lecturer sitting on my shoulder and I am trying not to self edit until I am done explaining my main objectives.

The Maria Tartar book has turned up, so yay for me :-)

I have forgotten just how messy this can be. It's one giant knitting project that has to be unravelled before it can be weaved into something acceptable.

I have been granted a reprieve from my main lecturer, who has said that I can do the IAS PP Monday week.  Just as well - I reached over 1,130 words on part 1 odf the project, but it is clear that I will have to do some reading, or I can't make the arguments stick.

PS - The weather has been crap.  It has been gorgeous til now, but we have forecast back-to-back wet grey cardboard weather.  I want out.  I want to see people, sunshine and grass; hear the return of the birds and live life through a lens for a while.  Not for me, at least not yet.  I have to catch up :-/

Black Milk )
changeling67: (Default)
Image result for blood sky
As I will be CONSTANTLY writing about Bluebeard, it would be very difficult to keep finding appropriate pictures, not to mention that it would be rather disconcerting to have grisly depictions of a murderer across LJ - so I will at least try to break up the horror effect by posting moons/castles or whatever.

I have written a miserly 200 words today, which quite frankly is Not A Lot.  I don't want to be caught up in the retelling of the story; more that I want to understand how history affected literature.  My PP well documented back in november will assist me.  OK - I maybe gone for some time (well, actually to the supermarket to get pancake mix for Shrove Tuesday).


635 words, mostly inspired by my PP from November.  I need to sew more detail in, though.  My Michel Focault books on The History of Sexuality 1,2 & 3 have arrived and I have it on authority that I will have the Maria Tartar book and the Jacques Lacan book too.
changeling67: (Default)

Original Artist - B-trndl at Deviant Art

I chose Bluebeard as I was interested as to the monster archetypes in fairy tales.  Most of them seemed to be lumbering, or plain ugly - but Bluebeard seemed to be generally frightening. I have 2,500 words to find between now and next Monday re the first half of the diss.  It will be comprised of Perrault/Brothers Grimm (albeit briefly)/Le Fanu and Charlotte Bronte.  This could be a HUGE project, but I have to pare it down to the bare minimum.  It will have Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber in it at some point too.

Yesterday and today, I have spent making notes on the Perrault/Le Fanu one and tomorrow, I will have to start writing.  In between, I will be doing the IAS PP too.

The Bloody Chamber - Warning NSFW )
changeling67: (Default)
Basically, I am reading the same 319 words and suddenly my vocabulary has dissolved into infinity.  I feel like I am literally smacking rocks together. A form of "I can't 'brain' today, I have the 'dumb'". Trying to get across how I could have loused the PP up less, is depressing.  I did well, but needed a stronger angle on what I needed to say.  Very valid points - if I had slightly longer time to reconsider, I might have gone back to it and done exactly what had been suggested.  Instead, I got so sick looking at it, I decided it was now or never.

Plus ::: We have been told that we have 12 days to get 2 essay drafts done (Victorians/Romantic module) as the date for final draft hand-ins is 5/1/15.Mine are on Charles Dickens/Hard Times and Mrs Gaskell/North and South; and a study on the works of Samuel Taylor Coleridge.  I read Hard Times during the summer - I haven't even breathed on North and South yet.  I have to read them through Marxist theory eyes as well.  I have had to email our Film/New Tech lecturer to push our deadlines closer to the end of January - I know that there are some of us that can't jam this all in i.e. 2 rewrites and a PP on Tim Burton (which includes a 2,000 word seminar paper) all during the Christmas break. I think even if I just took Christmas Day off, I would be pushing it.


My problem is that I over-think things.  I have written and emailed the reflective commentary. I vow to do better in the actually dissertation but I have come to a conclusion.  I have proved time and again that I am worthy of a first, but I run out of stamina pretty quickly.  Because of the time constraints and the amount of work, I really don't think that I can strive for so high for so long.  I think I will aim to do my best and not go loopy in the process.  Studying full-time eats into any life that you have and I want to still have my marbles in a jar when I get to collect the scroll, not burn out en route.

I am a little sad at this thought, but I need to be practical too.  A few people are hitting a wall as we speak and one has dropped out already, due to commitments. 

June 2017

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