Sub Rosa

Lying awake as too many things crowd my mind. Like - 2 trips out at the end of the week that require planning; needing to make myself scarce tomorrow so J can study and should I take my camera; which book next - Black Venus (87pages) or The Bloody Chamber (probably twice as long). Long worries about uni - renewing rail card, which means nailing down one of the dons to sign it off. Plus, what the hell will my major diss argument be about? Can I make ANY of the lit crit criteria fit my theories? Concerned that my closest friend is being seriously mucked about by her boyfriend; another moving away.Shit that probably doesn't matter, but it's making it your business now at 3am and beyond.

Need the sweet arms of Morpheus right now.

Hello Darkness, my old friend. Seems I'm wide awake again. My mind feels like I have left all the tabs open and keeps flicking backwards and forward, like some kind of scanning machine. Barcode brain.

I performed one of my pieces of written work at the Arts Centre. It was a good session, actually.Rapping guys called Hedluv and Passman were hilarious amd the narrator chap was good too. I have been filmed doing mine, so I will have to hunt it down.

To tell you the truth, my stomach is in knots. I feel very walled off from people. I feel like a shook bottle of pop - one twist of my head and everything would just gush out, like a sticky, angry volcanic mess. Maybe I should walk to the beach and scream at the sea.Would it understand, though - or laugh and throw stones back?

I am toying with the idea of getting a stop film animation kit in the new year. Also, a small camcorder. I want to write things and see it come to life, rather than imprison it on paper and lock it in a drawer.I also want a 'hapi drum' (santa take note).

Seriously, though - I think most of this is borne out of being fed up writimg in depth re crap I don't care about. I need to craft something rather than create merry hell on the phone, because Student Finance have mucked up my allowance. Or trying to qualify how Humbert's a perv in 'Lolita'.

I will have to get some shuteye. Apparently, our harshest critic shed a tear when she heard our monologues tonight. We must be doing something right. And this is what I miss.

Kindreds :-)

I can't sleep - I will be dropping Hubby off for his operatation in 7 hours time. It has been cancelled twice already, so in some respects, we'll be glad when it is done. I have 30 days until final submission. I have to prep the extenuating circumstance forms yet really it is the last thing on my mind.

We just want things over and done with. He can convaless, I can keep watch AND finish off my work. I am spinning so many plates here, I should be in the ****ing circus.

Excuse the parlez, just would like things to be a little more plain sailing for a change.

I had 2.5 hours of sleep last night. PP was ok-ish, there were only 2 other students in this morning. There is a *huge* amount of work to do, but right now it is time to curl up and go to sleep, mega earlier.

Happiness is a hotwater bottle and Radio 4 extra :-)

Hello Darkness, my old friend - seems I'm wide awake again. In fact, Morpheus, Sandman et al have not troubled me once this night. I lie awake plagued by uncertainty, just wanting things to clear so we can get on with life. Hubby can sleep through the most stressful of times, curled up like a cat - I however, stay awake. Churned up and restless, seeking solace in a SmartPhone in the dead of night.

Sleep, per chance to dream - although not quite in the way that Hamlet meant.

Or rather Morpheus - I have insomnia, just for a change. For some reason it is always after I hang out with my sister and niece. I have a lovely day, but then find it hard to wind down. Once more, it is too warm and stuffy, which doesn't help. I have noticed that the shadows are getting longer again and in six weeks I will be back in college, awaiting instructions for the FdA English Studies Year Two grind. I should have my nose in Dickens, but find myself side tracked into reading Monica Ali's 'Brick Lane.'

Alas, I cannot pick up the latter to read, as the bedside lamp will wake Hubby up, so I have to remain contented with the glow of my Smartphone. Probably doing all kinds of damage to my eyesight.

To sleep, perchance to dream - I know I am misquoting Hamlet here and there. I just seek sweet, dreamless slumber that eludes me just now.