changeling67 | Entries tagged with hubby

I have a swear
To put the past behind me
And if I fail
May the world remind me
That i know who i am
Where i should be
Where i'm going
What I could be

Well, time takes time
And love takes love
And time takes time

( Hubby & Self )

Current Music: Dusted feat. Dido - Time Takes Time

He's in the clear - woo hoo!!!!

Very soon, I have got to return to the festering grit hole that is commonly known as Plymouth. As the opening sentence may suggest, I am not particularly looking forward to this. Over the Easter break,I have been lullabied by paper boxes and expansive doodle diaries, cocooned by ragrug weaving, whick will not pay the mortgage/utility bills etc in the long run.

It is no news that I hate uni, but have to complete the English BA course. There are multi-layered reasons for my extreme reluctance, but mostly it's because I feel that I am done. Yet, I owe it to myself to complete this course, because this is it - the 'one shot', the very achievement that will lay down those ghosts, beat down those shadows inside. It ihas been partly accomplished by the FdA last year and because of the achievement, I finally know (rather than merely guess) my worth. In time, the full degree will top even that humble qualification. I do not expect to find a rich seam of cool jobs, but I will have a better chance of hitting the vein with a newly-minted BA.

There is a part of me that feels why didn't I know my worth before? Why DO I needed it measured by the standard 'gold star' educational ideal? Why do I need a piece of paper to validate me?

Inside the darkness, glittering eyes utter the unspoken words: Because you needef the tangible proof...

( More Musings )

I am pleased to say that Hubby's operation went ahead today and I managed to speak to him this evening. Bit sore, feeling tired and a tad rough - but sitting up in a chair and in good spirits. Next 48 hours are crucial, but things are looking good for now.

Thanks to all who left messages of goodwill - very appreciated :-)

stock-photo-torn-paper-holes-and-ripped-edge-textures-111958667.jpg

Tomorrow Hubby was meant to have his operation - yet again 18 hours before the op, they phone to cancel. Really trying not to be super mad about this, as Hubby varies from being philosophical to being quite relieved.

I, however, am spitting tacks. This is ridiculous - there was a guy that had been flown over from the Isles of Scilly, only to be told he would have to get back on the next plane. I now have no other choice but ignore this predicament and just get on with my work. I really bloody hate this.

Hubby's operation scheduled for tomorrow has been cancelled and is rescheduled for Thursday April 30th. it is not the hospital's fault, the norovirus closed at least one ward last week and of course, there is a knock-on effect.

The critical timing is way off - I have 44 days and 3 essay assignment, a mini dissertaion and a AIS portfolio to hand in. All of which can be described as either non-started, or at the 'half-arsed' stage. We can't afford to be mucked about too much as it does not do either of our psyches any good.

Because my car is kaput, I still need a car whilst Hubby is in hospital. So, I have taken out his car for the first time in 10 years.

Should I tell him that it bounced like a bunny through the gears, or that it goes like poo off a paddle on the straight? Hmm...decisions, decisions.

* heehee *

Just kidding....

Current Music: Steppenwolf - Born to Be Wild

Hubby has had biopsy results back. No cancer anywhere - he is clear of it and doesn't need chemotherapy. This means that he will be having another operation in March and he will hopefully get most of the quality of life back. Great news :-)

Current Music: Depeche Mode - Dangerous

Good news - just been told that Hubby is coming home today, a day early. However, I am at college (which is just across the way), his clothes are still at home over 20 miles away. Eek! Will have to change everything again - but at least he is coming home :-D

Hubby was in terrible pain yesterday - long story, but because of a major incident on the ward during the night, he didn't get his top up medication. He thought he would sleep it off, then found himself in excruciating pain. Then he developed clots and had to be put on warfarin (or similar). Today thankfully has been a better day, where he can at least walk to the loo and back - even managed to get a shower in.

Poor Hubs, miss him terribly and can't bear to see him in so much pain. Hopefully, he will continue to make gradual progress. Back at base camp, there is a lot to do before he comes home. Right now, I need to sleep and dream of sheep.

Hubby had his operation yesterday and all seems well. He has a good colour and everything is working as it should for now. He will stay there for a week until he gets used to the stoma, then will rest up at home. It's been a long 48 hours, but I think we are all turning a corner. I am sleeping better too, so hopefully I will be back at college next week.

It is Hubby's operation tomorrow. I am not allowed to stay - it is common hospital practice to.practically throw extraeneous spouse/family straight out of the door on admission. So much to be done - at least his liver is clear. All I can do is sit tight and wait..

Today has been hard - trying to plan for a mini dissertation that you have already written the abstract for, seems a little strange - I mean, the abstract is more or less the plan anyway. I actually don't know what I am going to write or how I am going to explain it until I actually sit down and do just that. There will quite possibly be a lot of wipe board planning, but that will be en route - can't exactly pencil THAT into the planner.

I am not happy generally at the moment. Hubby isn't so well: after ruling out normal probs at the GP, he now needs a hospital consultation and a procedure to find out if.....well - if there is anything serious going on. This couldn't be happening at a worse time - he is studying for a crucial exam and I am on the onset of a brink of a MASSIVE amount of work heading my way. The problem is both of us cannot skim the surface of a subject and do partially well - we are both deep learners and have to delve into a subject so that we can understand it. If we can't understand something in layman's terms, then we can't deliver it to the examiner in academic terms later. It is as simple as that.

I feel like I am batting way beyond my league again. Hubby doesn't want to talk about it, or rather he does and scares himself half to death - then doesn't want me to talk and be distressed. Bottom line ::: if I am not strong for him, then he can't be strong. It might be something - it might be nothing.We are both scared.

I'm scared....

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Sub Rosa

"All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea"

Entries tagged with hubby

RMB - Time Takes Time

Hubby's Test Results

Feather Head

Getting Better

The Sallow Wallpaper

Hospital Delay

Decisions, Decisions

Tide Is Going Out

Coming Home

Dream of Sheep

After The Big Sea

The Big Sea

No Go Zone

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February 2021

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